Losing my Biggest Fan-- my eulogy.

Lolo Dods- without a doubt, had fully lived his 68 years in excellence in this earth as God’s instrument of love.

As a child, I could clearly picture out my Lolo before, wearing a white shirt and black slacks, & I clearly remember me asking him if he had any other clothes aside from his usual pair-up and he’d laugh ever so loudly. I’d always have fond memories of my Lolo; days when he’d pick me up from school as a little girl, days he’d bring me to fiestas he’d attended and even ordinary days when I’d go over to their house and he’d always save me the best part of the chicken.

To those who had known him, we might remember him, sitting there sa “galingan”, either reading the newspaper or weighing the sacks of rice tirelessly. When someone would visit him, he’d always ask me to make coffee which I’d do tirelessly and then he’d have his little chats with people dropping by.

I’ll always have the fondest memories of you, Lo. I’ll miss the way you hold my hand and smile at me when I’m just there, the way you’d tell me that you want to dance ballroom so bad, you’d drag me around and we’d both laugh it. I’ll miss the way you’d ask me “who’s your no. 1 Lolo in the whole kalibuts?” and still you never get tired of hearing your name; and Lolo, you’d always be my no. 1 Lolo in the whole kalibuts.

Lolo was no doubt, one of the strongest men I’ve ever met. When we’d have the chance to have lunch with the whole family, everyone was always excited. We, apos, would always line up and he’d give us 20 pesos each to spend. The family would always remember him for his laughs, his jokes and his tireless praises for Lola Nita’s cooking. He’s the no. 1 fan of my Lola’s cooking. Lolo’s children would keep telling me that Lolo was very strict when they were still young which I was proud of because if he hadn’t been strict, he’d never see his children as the persons they are now.

Even when he was in pain, he’d never want to see us looking sad. Yet even the strongest people know how it feels to be burdened emotionally especially when we see him suffer in pain.

We all have our different purposes in life; it doesn’t mean that if we die late, we are bad people. It is in God’s will that we are called because we have finished our purpose as instruments of God in this earth as living beings.

Ridiculous, I thought. He just isn’t the type to die. Why does this always happen to the good guys?

You know how people say that there is a “grieving period”? This is just as ridiculous. I know I’ll never get over losing him. It’s dawning on me slowly. I feel like I’m losing him in pieces. Like the first time I went to their room after he passed away, I realized I’d never hear him singing his Elvis Presley songs or hear him getting exited when he smells Lola’s cooking or even ask me what’s the correct pronunciation of this word and that. Or when I go to their house and he smiles at me and hugs to tell me I’m his “pinangga”. Then, I remembered he was gone. There are just too many nevers to reckon with and I doubt I’ll ever fully grasp how gone he is.

I always wanted to tell him- I loved him. I know he knew that. I loved wasting my time with him and I loved how he fixed bad days, just by being there. He was my best friend.

I miss him terribly, but I know he’s here somewhere, waiting to give me a hug. Too bad it isn’t now, but someday doesn’t sound too bad to me. Someday Lolo, someday.

Lolo Dods- a husband, a father, a grandfather, an uncle, a best friend, a classmate, a friend. We will miss you so much Lo.


Nikki T. Sia
July 13, 2008