gone.

I wasn't the type to say goodbyes frequently. I'm not the type to let go that easily. Maybe that's why, I often get hurt.


Ever had that feeling when all of a sudden, you had these happy moments only to find out that there was something in return. Something dear to you.

It happened in a flash. I woke up at around 4:30 am and checked my phone. I had a message from HER. I happened to smile because it was not that often that I received messages from HER. Then I read it. SHE was moving. I didn't know what to do, I just stared at the message for about a minute or two and tears started streaming down my face.

Things were sudden. I know we haven't been that long as friends but sometimes friendship isn't defined by how long you've known each other but rather how you complete each other's lives. It was like life suddenly flashed before your eyes. All our plans went down the drain. She still had to come here after summer classes, her 18th birthday on June, my debut on October and we stil had to pursue medicine. It all went ka-blaam.

I just couldn't think of reasons why she should go. Yes, certain sacrifrices had to be made and I couldn't think of reasons why SHE of all people should be the one to make the sacrifice. She had a mother and I doubt that her mother was looking for ways for them to survive. Her aunt was "unsupporting" them. It may seem that I may be quite selfish at this point but sometimes, when you can't do anything about a thing that someone is pushed to do, you find ways to help.

And now, I couldn't survive another loss, another one for the road. Somehow, I wish I could do something. I just can't. I just can't. And I thought the shuffling was bad enough.